Democratic Republic of Chicago aka Shitgago or ShitCargo, Illinois — On April 15, 2026, a Bonquisha riding in a vehicle on Interstate 57 called da pow-leesh n sheit to report a domestic violence (no way!!!!) situation involving her Baby daddy III, identified as 24-year-old Jamarcus Jalen Carpenter aka FELONTAVIOUS.

According to Illinois State Police, the ''woman'' told dispatchers that Carpenter-felontavious had battered (nah jamarcus aint do dat sheeit,das lies and das raisism) and threatened her (threatened her to by find to both them jobs) while they were driving (probably some stolen car from wyteman,so it wuz reperta,repre,reperatwns n sheeeit) through Shitcago.

During the call, she remained on the phone (sit down and listen,a black woman is speaking) with authorities (''i aint a snitch'' my ass) and continuously updated officers (a giga snitch) on their location as the vehicle traveled off the interstate and into the city’s Woodlawn neighborhood. At one point, the Bonquisha reportedly told police she feared for her life (blm though) because Carpenter-Felontavious was armed (naaah these people dont do that).

The situation came to a stop in the 6500 block of South Champlain Avenue after the ''woman'' exited the vehicle and waited for responding troopers.

When officers arrived, they approached Carpenter-felontavious on the sidewalk and began questioning him about the argument, he responde by racism,colonialism,slavery,jim crow and the he wuz kangz and bonquisha a kween.

Body-camera footage shows Carpenter-felontavious admitting that he and his bonquisha had been arguing (maaan imagine having them as neighbors) and basically that it was not an actual arguing but a sub saharan ritual for mating that includes beating up and yelling to eachother, he denied having a weapon (a classic dindu nuffer) when asked by a trooper.

Officers then attempted to detain him after asking him to lift his shirt, leading to a physical struggle. During the confrontation, surveillance footage appears to show Carpenter-felontavious pulling out a handgun (surpirse mofo,you think i was telling da truff?) as a shot is fired into the ground. Troopers then opened fire (bravo!!!), striking Carpenter-felontavious (aaah hell nawh!) multiple times(good). Police said officers rendered aid before Carpenter-felontavious was transported to a hospital (with a taxpayers money), where he was pronounced dead (no more taxpayer money for him). Investigators recovered a firearm from the scene, and the involved troopers have since been placed on administrative status while the Illinois State Police Division of Internal Investigation reviews the shooting. Carpenter’s-felontacvious family (oh sheeeit here we go again) has continued to demand accountability and a full review of the evidence, with his father criticizing the level of force used and calling the incident devastating for their family and saying that ''he wuz a good boi''=lawsuit=money, and showing pictures of him when he was a boy (to target society's emotions